The Man Who Hated Money!

Detective Comics #347 has a cover date of January 1966 and is on Comixology and DC Universe.

This was the earliest issue of Detective Comics I can remember my father owning (in an original printing, that is) with an Elongated Man story. Unfortunately, I don't believe he still owns that copy (or much of his comic collection), so this is just a bit of fond reflection for me.

Over in the letters page, readers were buzzing about guessing the writer of "The Secret War of the Phantom General," with one reader wondering at whose picture in the panels with John Broome could've been used as a dartboard, and deducing that it must be the editor, which Julius Schwartz confirms with a humorous "Dart's right!" No specific mentions of Ralph.

"The Man Who Hated Money!" was written by Gardner Fox with pencils by Carmine Infantino and inks by Sid Greene, Gaspar Saladino lettering and Julius Schwartz as editor.

The splash page does not depict a scene in the story, but instead depicts the concept of the story, with Ralph literally stretching to catch a generic looking masked crook who wants to destroy money, but the crook seems to just be out of his reach.

Come to think of it, this might be one of the best splash pages yet. It gets us interested in the story but doesn't spoil anything. I don't think there's been one like this since Ralph's Detective Comics debut, which actually had nothing to do with the story.

The main action of this story takes place in Silver City, which is said to be near a small town called Four Corners. There's no real life match up of places of the same names that seem to fit, however there is a Four Corners neighborhood in Silver Springs, Maryland. A Silver City is the home of some supernatural characters from the DC universe, but it's not clear if this is the same one.

The story starts with radio DJ Flip Philips reporting on getting mugged and the thief taking the bills he had in his wallet and ripping them to shreds, explaining that he hates money more than anything.

Infantino draws the mugging well in four panels, focusing on the thief's hands.

The story makes the paper and Sue Dibny happens to read it before her husband. Noting the story, she checks out of their Four Corners hotel and shows the story to Ralph and prepares to head to Silver City. She is not avoiding the case, she actively brings it to Ralph's attention and prepares to head off so he can investigate it.

Arriving at the Silver City Police Department, Ralph is told that Antoine Lemaire of the Continental Cafe reported that he was robbed by the Money-Hating Robber who proceeded to tear up the dollar bills in the cash register. Then, Hannibal Holiday, an artist, arrives and claims he was robbed by the Robber at an art exhibit, who turned his cash into confetti.

Ralph decides to lure the Robber out by going on a spending spree with Sue, much to her delight.

As Ralph goes for a stroll that night, he's mugged and hands over his money to try to figure out what the issue with the Robber is.

Only the mugger is just a regular thief.

Ralph tries to stretch his fingers after the thief, but gets them smacked by an accomplice.

Ralph quickly pulls off his civilian clothes to reveal his costume and heads off after the crooks, stretching his legs out. In a great Infantino scene, Ralph quickly catches up with the mugger and grabs him and whacks him against a building, presumably knocking him out with a trail of dollar bills.

Then he goes after the accomplice, who's preparing to shoot him.

Ralph goes after the man's gun with his elongating arms, making him miss before punching him out.

The two crooks are taken to the police department where the lead actor and actress of a play titled "Heart to Heart" enter, reporting that they were victims of the Robber.

Actress Rhoda Marr reports their show was nearly an empty house that night. August Clemens, the lead actor, says they got into his car and were met by the Robber, who then held them at gunpoint so they'd surrender their money, which he tore up before running off into the night.

The next day, Sue goes to see the art exhibit at Town Hall, but there's a long line of people waiting to get in. (The next page has her say it's a three hour wait.) As she waits, she hears a portable radio play a song from Flip Philips titled "The Man Who Hated Money."

Afterward, Sue goes to the theater to get a ticket for a performance of "Heart to Heart," but they're sold out.

The story goes forward to Ralph coming back to their hotel room, saying his questioning of the victims led nowhere. Sue tells him about her own day, adding that she went to the Continental Cafe, and was informed that the time to be seated was predicted to be two hours. She concludes with "I just wish that money-hating bandit would hold me up! I'd like to be doing as well as his victims!"

This gives Ralph the major clue he needed. He kisses Sue from across the room by elongating his lips. He decides to reveal the identity of the robber at the Silver City Theater the next morning, in front of the victims.

The next morning, Ralph's reveal is spoiled by a gunshot from the manager's office, and he goes to see what the trouble is.

Arriving in the office, Ralph finds the manager is the one who fired the shot to get Ralph's attention. The manager's being held up by a couple crooks who are set on taking the box office take.

When Ralph tries to punch at them, they catch his hand in a bucket of quick-drying cement, and the other hand is quickly taken out of commission by an electrical shock delivered by an electric goad.

Those guys aren't even wearing gloves to handle that goad, they could seriously hurt themselves like that. This is more commonly known as cattle prod.

However, Ralph is a sharp one, and uses his temporarily out of commission hands to anchor himself, so he can knock out these crooks by using his legs.

And he can't resist a good pun, so here's his dialogue. "If you crooks really want to see some electrifying—here's my current offering! You fellows plugged in on something you can't handle!"

I'll note the manager must have made a hasty exit as he isn't seen after the first panel on the page.

This page really has nothing to do with the main plot, it's like they needed to fill one extra page, so they gave Ralph another fight scene. But I'm not one to say no to a good Infantino fight scene for Ralph, so it's a nice addition, though honestly, I would have preferred if the Continental Cafe had gotten more than one panel earlier, as it makes us nearly forget about it because it's so brief.

Also, Silver City has one major crime problem if Ralph randomly runs into four crooks.

Ralph resumes his reveal: there is no Money-Hating Robber! The story was created by Flip Philips as nothing more than a promotional piece for his song, "The Man Who Hated Money."

Ralph goes on to point out how all of the "victims" wanted publicity and took advantage of the story to get their names out there, which paid off majorly. He then goes on to point out they'll be charged with filing false robbery reports, which is a crime in and of itself.

The victims admit their guilt, with Rhoda Marr suggesting they donate their newly accrued funds to the community chest.

As Ralph and Sue go back on the road the next day, Sue discovers her spending money is gone. Ralph tells her that he donated it to the community chest "in the name of the Money-Hating Bandit!"

This is actually well-done story. As mentioned above, I think some other parts could've used a bit of expansion rather than giving Ralph another fight scene, although it was a good one. Ralph is given a mystery, and with help from Sue is able to solve it.

There is one tiny flaw: if the Robber just destroyed money on the spot, why weren't the police suspicious that evidence wasn't being brought in or found at the crime scene? I'm not sure if this was the case in 1966, but mutilated bills can be turned over to banks or mailed to the Bureau of Engraving and Printing for replacement if more than half of the bill is there.

Anyway, well done to Fox and Infantino on this one.

Next time, must be the season of the witch.